dear girls: on confidence vs. vanity.

We all have that one trait that people commonly pick out in us. 

Some of us are shy, some of us are quiet. some of us are bubbly, smiley, happy, etc, etc. 

I've always been told my confidence is evident; that I carry myself in a way that says "I'm not afraid of the world and what it has to say."

You're probably asking why the heck I'm sitting here typing this for you to read if you choose to....but this post if for you girls. 

You see, I'm discovering as a young woman in 2012, that true confidence is often mistaken for other things.

I think a lot of people take my confidence as me being cocky, full of myself, and big headed. 

Some people take shyness as being rude and dumb. 

Some people take loudness as attention seeking.

A while ago I had an encounter with someone who didn't like my confidence and told me I made others feel bad with my ability to believe I can do anything I want to.

I've been pondering this for some time now, wondering what I could say to someone if that ever was said to me again, and it's bound to happen. 

I believe every woman should equip themselves with true confidence - not confidence in their ability to manipulate or persuade, but the kind of confidence that doesn't care what others have to say, isn't easily influenced by what is "cool" and "trendy", and doesn't measure their worth by what others think. Do you agree?

I'd like to think that's the kind of confidence I have. Of course, I'm not perfect, and never will be. But what fun is life if you're constantly comfortable with who you are? I think we should always be striving to become a better version of ourselves, growing in the Lord and His desires.

I don't remember exactly what I said to the person who told me my confidence was essentially offensive, but I do remember I didn't apologize for it. I wondered for a while if that was the right thing to do, and finally I am confident in my decision not to apologize. God's created every single one of us differently. We are all similar in one way or a thousand, but none of us are exactly alike. I won't ever apologize for who God made me to be.

This isn't to say that it's an excuse for bad behavior. If I were acting out and being intentionally rude, hurtful, and trying to tear others down, I would feel obligated to apologize.

So, this post is for all of you ladies. 

Be confident in who you are and your ability to succeed with Christ. Don't ever apologize for who He made you to be. You are precious in His sight and lovely. He made you who You are. Shy, happy, quiet, bubbly, confident. You are not subject to the world and it's commands on women today. 

Don't be afraid to dress yourself with confidence. Modesty is not "lame" - it shows your respect yourself and are confident in your ability to be beautiful without flaunting.

Don't be afraid to speak your mind. You may not always be politically correct or say things that are "socially acceptable", but you don't have to be. We learn from our mistakes. 

Don't be afraid to make those mistakes, either! That doesn't mean go out and do stupid things, but when you fall, pick yourself up, apologize if necessary, and keep going. You're not perfect, and that's okay.

And lastly, don't be afraid to be confident in your beauty, worth, and loveliness. I'm not saying you should  be vain. There is quite a difference. Vanity is having excessive pride in or admiration of one's own appearance or achievements. Confidence is the state of feeling certain about the truth of something. 

So, have confidence in knowing you are beautiful because He made you that way. Know that you are lovely, and more precious than rubies, and never apologize for being who He created you to be.

a letter to my sisters.

this is a post that has been on my heart for a long time. and here it is - just for you girls. 

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Dear girls,

I know it's hard - being a girl. Periods, bra shopping, unbalanced hormones, weight worries, I know.

Even better than just being a girl, I know how hard it is being a strong girl. Holding back tears when all you want to do is cry. Saying "it's okay" or "don't worry about it" when it really isn't, and you wish they would.

I know it's hard to handle all the pressure that comes with being a woman in today's society.

The media is telling you, "Be hot. Be sexy. Be tan. Be gorgeous. Be fake. Be like Kim Kardashian and Jessica Simpson."

I know. And I also know it's hard to not want to be those things. Society says "go ahead, you'll feel better about yourself." And that might be true in the moment when a guy whistles at you, or tells you you're gorgeous. It might feel good when you're walking away from someone, and you know they're admiring you from behind. That all feels good then and there.

But it won't later, after you think about what's actually going on in those situations. No boy or man, when staring that intensely at your body, is having clean thoughts.

Remember that the next time you leave the house in that maybe too low-cut top, or those jeans that are a little bit too tight. You're not doing yourself any favor.

Girls; you are precious jewels. You are all, each and every one of you, daughters of the most high King!

You're a princess!! Treat your body accordingly. Don't flaunt what you have just because you can. Don't cover up the masterpiece God made - the masterpiece that is your beautiful face - with ten pounds of foundation. Don't, under any circumstances, let anyone tell you that you "look better" that way.

God didn't mess up when He made your eyes, nose, lips, teeth, ears, or anything. The only reason you feel like you're not pretty enough, is because of how the media and society promotes "beauty" - but it's not the kind of beauty you want.

A verse in the famous 31st chapter of Proverbs says "charm is deceitful, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."

Oh, my dear sisters. How I so desperately wish I could convey this to you better! If I'm being honest with you right here and right now, I have some things I hate about my body - but that I have learned to love because my maker created me with those features - and He calls me beautiful. And you know what?

He calls YOU beautiful too.

There is no substitute for character, integrity, love, honesty, purity, joyfulness.....and there is nothing more beautiful than those things.

If you're feeling lonely, desperate for someone to love you, craving attention - stop, please, my dear, stop.

Go look in the mirror - look yourself square in the eyes - and tell yourself that God did a wonderful job. Tell HIM that He made a beautiful woman.

Ladies, it's hard to be pure, strong, full of integrity. It's hard to be unceasingly joyful, and undoubtedly honest. It's not an easy task.

But if it wasn't so hard, what the heck would we need God for?

So, girls. This letter was for you. Each and every one of you reading. Young, old, married, dating, or single. This letter was for YOU.

You are beautiful without the makeup, without the designer clothes, without the tight dress. You are beautiful because you are a princess. You are God's daughter. You, my dear, are gorgeous for your heart - not your body.

Remember that, forever and always, that you are something special and deserve to be treated as so. Don't ever let any man treat you less than you deserve - because every princess deserves the best.

Sincerely, and with all my love,

Your Sister