really quick..

here are a few more pictures from my week...for now. hopefully this afternoon I'll be able to get some actual content up for y'all...ha.

favorite magazine ever.

home

she's adorable.

biggest burrito of my life. "california burrito". yummy :)

coconut, peach, mango popsicle. in a blender mix 1 cup coconut milk, 1 cup frozen or fresh peaches, 1 cup frozen or fresh mango. sweeten with your sweetener of choice to taste. pour into containers of your choice, add a popsicle stick, freeze for four hours. enjoy.

worship practice. good day? yes.

the week was.

tuesday was happy: I was happy to be home to this.

wednesday was happier: I played this more and more. I missed my love.

thursday was beautiful: ali [the kids' nanny - she's one of my closest friends these days] and the kids and I went on a walk. it was lovely.

friday was musical again: I wrote a new song. 

saturday was exhausting: graduation for the homeschool group! and then three grad parties after. yes, I was one of those. a silly party hopper.

sunday was fun: I went to see snow white and the huntsman with taylor and her brother, dad, and a few friends. [read: ten friends]. that's wyatt, complaining about how much I post on instagram. so I instagrammed it ;)

monday was summer: beach day! end of the year homeschool beach bash first [top] and then Julia's 18th birthday after! [bottom] cute, huh? ;)

what did you do this week?

life after high school.

you know, it's graduation season.

in fact, my brother graduates 8th grade today. weird.

seniors are leaving high school, college students finishing their degrees...I can't help but sit and wonder, and ask myself the same question many people have asked me for the past 3 years...

what am I going to be? what am I going to do with my life after high school?

can I be perfectly honest with you?

I don't know.

I don't know where I will be in the next five years. I can't even tell you where I'll be in 18 months.

can I be honest with you again?

I'm sick of being asked. sometimes I want to say back "well, did you know what you were doing with your life at age 16?"

but I know that's not what the Lord would have for me. and so I hold my tongue.

recently, while looking for worship schools, I discovered the new life school of worship, located in colorado springs.

I've never really thought about worship school before. to me, it seemed silly. I've already worked under my worship pastor for who knows how many years, and if I'm here for any more amount of time, it's just extra, right? I don't need to go to school.

well.....I've been rethinking that notion, lately.

I want to lead His people to His throne room.

I want to serve Him with everything I have.

when I found the NLSW I was instantly drawn to it. I don't know why. But something about it sparked an immediate interest in me. 

I have another 9 months till I can even think about applying...and for that time, I will be praying, so, so very hard about it. and a few other schools and opportunities. I don't know what the Lord has for me. I can't, and I never will know His full plans. He may reveal bits and pieces to me sometimes, I suppose...but that's the cool thing about it. I know He knows where I'm going, so it'll all be okay.

a few words about things.

good evening. I promise, I am still alive. I've started a post about 5 or 6 times and each time don't know what to do. I have been pondering a lot of things about/since my trip.

I made it home from Alaska safely, and the flight was, oddly, nice. 

I sat with my cousin Naomi, and we talked and talked and talked. About just life. I can honestly say I've never known her better. It feels good to say that I know my family. And it's odd, that I haven't gotten to know some of them until now.

Now, I will tell you more about my trip. It was an odd one, this is for sure. 

You've probably figured out by now I'm not "normal" as far as 16 year olds go.

I don't fit with just anyone, and while I can make it work, and have fun, it's hard to find someone I really, truly connect with. I can honestly say I have about four people like that in my life. And one of them is my mother. Seriously.

Going to Alaska to see family, I knew I was in for somewhat of a culture shock....they're different than I, and I them. We don't share the same morals or values, faith or beliefs, the only thing we truly share is blood. and I knew this. but I was not prepared for what was coming.

entitlement. selfishness. glory seeking. these were all things that were sought during our trip. and all I could do was sit back and try not to place too harsh a judgement on them, knowing that we all possess these qualities at some point or another. 

I was thankful that they didn't really know me as well as most people, so that they weren't taken by surprise when I just kind of shrunk back and didn't say much, interact too much, or comment much. I just was kind of there. which, if you know me, that's not me. I'm never quiet. I don't just sit. 

The Lord taught me a lot though, about myself and humanity.

I'm not perfect; so I shouldn't pretend to be. I do, however, have a higher standard to live by; the standards of Christ and what He has called me to.

When I left Seward, Alaska on Tuesday morning, I was thankful for the time there, and glad to be going home. There's not much else to say, except that it's really quite interesting how God teaches you sometimes.

alaska trip: two days of fishing, lots of gorgeous views.

[day 1]

7 am

pretty pretty paradise.

look at those mountains.

two of my favorite things: ocean and mountains.

can't get enough.

cousin naomi and i - the middle one was 59.8 lbs.

[day 2]

dadddy's killer king salmon!

i adore this one.

today's catch. 200 lbs of meat. yum? yeah.

the gang :) [l to r] daddy, jake, naomi, me, uncle al.

and.....I caught this baby today - 101.2 lbs. it was a freaking beast.

that's all for now. I love it here so much. it's beautiful. 

thankful.