the lord is my strength and my song.

It's 1:57 am.

I can't sleep.

My nose is clogged up and I can't breathe. 

I have laundry to do but no energy to do it.

I have school, lots and lots and lots of school to do, but again, no energy to do it. Nor the desire.

I haven't been able to sing in five days. This is horrendous for me, you see. 

Now it's 1:59 am.

I'm still tired but can't sleep.

Because my nose is clogged up.

And I'm still thinking about all the laundry and school I have and need to do.

But alas, no energy or motivation to do it.

And I still can't sing.

What a difference two minutes makes, eh?

And on top of all that, our annual high school Christmas party at church is tomorrow....or today, I should say, and I have absolutely no desire to go. But I need to get out of the house. "Enjoy" myself. 

Meh.

You know what's the most frustrating part about all this? The way I deal with frustration is prayer and singing. I sing a little song, all better.

It's now 2:05 am.....

&& I still have no ability to sing! 

But you know what? I posted a verse today on my facebook. 

The LORD is my 

strength && my song, 

and H E has B E C O M E my S A L V A T I O N 

THIS IS MY GOD, AND I WILL PRAISE HIM 

-EXODUS 15:2a

I forget that so often.

The Lord is my strength and song; I don't need to even open up my lips to sing. He is my song. He heals my frustration. He takes away my hurt. He is my strength too. When I have no energy, when I don't want to do it, when I can't do it, He's the reason I do. Because it's what needs to happen.

Thank you, Jesus. Thank you.

It's 2:15 am.

I'm going to go to sleep.

I'm going to live through the night, I am breathing, in reality.

I will do laundry tomorrow morning.

I will do school tomorrow.

Lots, and lots, and lots of it.

And I will let my body rest so I can sing again.

But even if I don't sing for another five days....

THE L O R D IS MY S T R EN G T H && MY S O N G.