walking with the wise + free printable

free printable! click image, save to computer, print on 8.5x11! xo!

Recently I've realized something. Your friends will not always value you the same way you value them.

This has only become something I've truly paid attention to lately - simply because I have friends that aren't on the same page as me; or at least their actions don't say so. 

If any of you are reading this blog, sometime down the road, or maybe next week, who knows when I'll finally share it...I want you to know, my love for you hasn't gone anywhere. I promise.

But; that being said, I'm learning that it's okay to let go of friendships sometimes. You can only do so much before the other person has to meet you in the middle, and sometimes, God says "you don't have to keep going. This is on her now; stop beating your head against the wall." 

I know that sounds silly, but it's true. Sometimes God gives us the o.k. to walk away. 

It's a bittersweet feeling...knowing you've done everything you can, yet they don't care...and at the same time this battle you were fighting is no longer something you have to worry about. Of course, it doesn't mean you just ditch the person. But the deep friendship you once had or were at once working towards? That might not ever happen.

I've been down the road of disappointment too many times. Friend, after friend, after friend has left me in the dust for someone else. They've said "see ya, I found someone better."

That's partially why I have this blog - because I wanted to have a place where I could just leave it all, and be myself, and not have to worry about any of them ridiculing me. 

I'm a strong girl. I don't let my emotions run my life - and I rarely react on my emotions quickly. But I will ignore hurt and pain and stinging comments to a point that isn't healthy. And I finally lose it, and discover I don't even know why I'm friends with some people. I get to such a lonely place, though, that I'd rather spend time with them than complain about my feelings. This is half my fault for not finding enough of a friend in my Savior and half the fault of the people who surround me.

That's not how it should be, though; I shouldn't be spending time with people who are constantly tearing me down, or who I don't feel really care. This is not to say some healthy criticism once in a while isn't due...but I have friends whom I spend time with and only ever walk away from our time together feeling dejected...and that's not okay; especially when they're my brothers and sisters in Christ. 

We are to be building each other up, not tearing them down. And unfortunately, that's not always the case. I'm not perfect at it either; but I have been on the receiving end of brutal sarcasm and stinging remarks far too often. 

I'm going somewhere with all this, I promise.

A couple days ago, my bible app's verse of the day was Proverbs 13:20; it read:

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

This is how I feel, oh so very often. I spend time with people who aren't uplifting, and my heart suffers harm.

Maybe I'm taking this out of context, I don't know. But I do know I'm not going to keep that habit up. I'm done having half-hearted friendships with people who say "lets hang out!" but don't mean it. I'm over the boring youth group conversations that leave me thinking "did we really just have a whole conversation about that?" 

I want to talk about Jesus! I want to talk about my struggles and not be judged, because I have a stamp on my forehead that says "Expectaion: perfect". I'm not perfect. I'm a human 17 year old girl. Lets cut each other some slack and love deeply, wholly, truly, like Christ did. Lets go beyond your day and the weather, lets talk. 

My new goal is to be a friend who is wise; to be a friend who is uplifting, and caring. The bible says they will know us by our love - I want to be the kind of friend that is simply love to the other, in hope that they are trying to be the same, and we can come together and glorify Christ in our friendship.

Strive to be the wise friend; strive to walk with the wise friend. Two very different, very daunting tasks.

Blessings, sweet friends.

xoxo,

Ruthanne

Lord, help me.

Right now, my heart is full of all sorts of things.

Anger, sadness, frustration, irritation, and the like. Even after spending the day with one of the most amazing friends God has blessed me with, my heart is hurting, and I don't know why. Not fully, at least.

I'm angry at the man who is responsible for the shooting in Colorado last week. And I'm angry at the people who don't think it's totally on him, and blaming the gun instead. That's like blaming a spoon for being overweight. Guns don't kill people. People with guns kill people. Lord, help me not be angry at the man for what he did. Help me pray for him, and healing within him. Help me not be angry at those who don't blame him, either.

I'm sad for all of the people who were victims of the shooting. How devastated they and their families must be. Lord, comfort all of the victims and their friends and families.

I'm frustrated with my siblings. One cries when he doesn't get his way, another could spit in my face and not care, and the baby is in the "I will rebel and tell you no at all costs" phase, and I'm really not digging it. Lord, help my heart to soften to them - it's not their fault, anymore than it is my fault for being frustrated with them. We're human. I need to get over it.

And I'm irritated that there are more feelings pent up inside of me that I can't seem to shake. I want to scream, and cry, and throw a chair through the window. Lord, help me see the joy in each day, every day.

I miss my best friend, and can't do anything about it, since she's 2000 miles away. Lord, help me not to rely solely on her companionship to be happy. 

I miss participating in summer....I haven't done much of anything since I started working. Lord, help me see that spending time with Miss Makenna and her mommy is my ministry field for right now, and help me find joy in that.

I'm going camping with family on friday for 10 days, and I'm not really too thrilled about it. My papa and mimi aren't able to come, like they normally do, and everyone else is from my dad's side of the family. Two uncles, an aunt, three cousins, two half cousins, grandpa and my whole family. It's going to be interesting. Lord, help me to love them unconditionally, and not keep score of all the times they've "wronged" me. They are your children too.

And Lord, help me to be happy in all situations, finding joy in the day's work.

Here are a few treats for you, in case you're struggling with something similar too.

fb cover photo

iphone/ipod background

printable - will print on 8.5x11 paper

proverbs 31:30 (free printable & iphone background)

( ↑ click to go to printable page ↑ )

iphone lock screen background

so, apparently today is national women's day in the US. Who knew. Go figure. I don't personally feel we need a day for our gender, but whatever.....

Anyway. It did inspire me, however, to make this little thing up above to kind of remind you and I that a woman who fears the lord is the most celebrated. I think I'm going to go through Proverbs 31 and make one of these for every verse; that chapter is so rich and full of amazing things for us ladies to use and glean from, and what better way than to have these verses as reminders in printable and iphone background form!

I'm not putting a copyright on these - but I'm trusting you, or anyone else who uses these will be nice and link back to me, or something. I thought maybe you could print it out on a piece of cardstock and stick on your mirror or in your car, or make it your iphone lock screen or something...who knows! 

Hope your thursday is wonderful, dear friends!

xoxo, 

Ruthanne