[my church parking lot view]
tonight has been filled with the stirring of desire in my heart.
and a lot of pondering on where God is going to take me over the next few years.
there are so many places He could send me. but I know there is only one thing He wants me to do.
as I listened to audrey assad sing songs about life tonight, followed by jj heller, I was reminded of how small I am.
but how, in one of audrey's songs "sparrow", a rewrite of a well known hymn, I was also reminded of how much He loves me; and how His eye is on the sparrow, so why should it not be on me?
the desire to pursue music for Him has been on my heart for years. but only recently has it become so very, very strong. words cannot describe the feeling.
tears are being brought to my eyes as I write this; my heart is full and heavy with joy and a tinge of fear; but I am ready to write and sing, no matter the circumstances. I am ready to be pushed out of my comfort zone, and be vulnerable, and imperfect.
I am ready to figure out who I am, as an artist, and what that means for my life.
and I am terrified.
because I like my comfort zone. I like not being vulnerable in my writing. and I like "being perfect", whatever the heck that means.
but that's not what I need. nor what I want.
I know; with all my heart; that music, and sharing the good news of my savior, King Jesus, is what my life was created for.
God has blessed me with something I can't even comprehend...something I certainly don't deserve, and I am humbled that He would choose me, a silly sixteen year old, to represent Him so strongly.
it's scary, it really is.
but as the picture above, so fittingly displays; even through all the busy day to day things we go through, His eye is on the sparrow; and I found it so neat that the picture I took this morning, could relate to the feelings of tonight, as there is one, lonely sparrow in the picture.
how cool is our God?
oh, my word. what silly things we worry about on a daily basis. I can actually chuckle thinking of it. how petty we are at times. but that's why we have Jesus...to correct us when we're wrong, help us when we're lost, humble us when we become prideful, and rejoice with us those few times when we get it right.
thank you, thank you, thank you Jesus, for keeping your eye on me. keep me humble and faithful in the days, months, and years to come, as I continue on the journey that we so freely call "life". I pray, Father, that you would guide me, and calm my spirit and heart as I open up this new chapter of my life; the chapter that is discovering who I am as a musician for You, a singer of Your songs. thank you for giving me breath and life, and blessing me like you have. I am thankful. You are mighty, powerful and relentlessly showing me how much You truly love me; thank you for that. and Lord, please bless the people reading this prayer right now; guide them today, and tomorrow, thank you for all you do for us. in Your name; amen.
xoxo, ruthanne
