In the past few months, I've been fully submerged into the real world. I was homeschooled for 12 years. I wasn't sheltered to an unhealthy extreme - but I was sheltered enough to allow my parents to have more influence on me than society would.
I don't know if you've noticed, but a large percentage of girls of the ages 15 through 23/24 these days have extremely low confidence levels. They can't cook - they can use a microwave and put a pre-made pie in the oven. They can't clean. They don't know what grace is and they certainly don't know about standards and self esteem, because most every girl you talk to, has given herself to a man already, or plans on it before marriage; some even have goals to lose their virginity before a certain age. Exceptions apply, of course, but I'm sad to say, those exceptions are a minority.
Their skinny jeans are spray painted on, and the art of bootcut jeans has almost been lost. People forgot about these things we call camisoles. Their mouths say far too many dirty words and their dresses are too short. Heaven forbid they hit mid-thigh. Their heels make them taller than the Empire State building and in their pictures on facebook, you tend to wonder why they look like ducks half the time. Oh, and did you know that kids (girls and boys) under the age of 21 consume almost 20 percent of America's alcohol sales? Super promising, for your little ladies, I know.
These are the girls of 2013. These are the girls your girls have to look up to. These are the girls setting the standards. And these are the girls, your daughters, if trends continue, will probably end up like.
Your little girls have a chance to be different, if you give it to them, mama.
Your sweet little girls may have cute little bellies and chubby little legs right now, but sooner than you think, they will get curves. They will grow taller. They will care about their hair cut. They will ask to buy the tightest skinny jeans possible. They will want to wear makeup, and whether you like it or not (especially their daddies), they will like boys.
Teach them, now, before they're overcome with hormones and disney-channel-inspired sass (translation:disrespect), that they're princesses. Teach them that they're special. Teach them to be confident in who they are. Teach them where their identity lies. Teach them that grace given by God doesn't make them perfect - it makes them a beautiful mess. Teach them it's okay to have standards. Teach them that it's okay to cry sometimes, but it's also okay to laugh. Teach them that life won't always go their way. Teach them to take joy in the little things...the little successes. Give them a reason to be beautiful - teach them about Love - teach them about Jesus. Teach them to be shameless about their love for Him.
Teach them how to be classy with a little sass and a little smartass - excuse me - because the truth is, they're going to need it. But teach them how to be sweet, too. Teach them how to be loving, and compassionate. Teach them the importance of grace. Teach them how to cook..even if you don't know very well yourself. Teach them how to iron. Teach them how to change a tire. Teach them how to make their bed. Teach them how to clean a toilet. Teach them how to do their own laundry. Teach them, mamas, how to be a good wife. Start now. Not when they're 13. Not when they're 16. Teach them now, and teach them to be joyful about it.
How do you do this, you ask? You, yourself, do it first.
Understand that your Daddy is the King of the nations- you are a princess. You are special. Be confident in who you are and seek daily to find your identity in Christ - not a spotless house and perfectly behaved children, because that will never happen. Accept the grace God gives you when you let the less than spotless house and misbehaved children devalue your worth. Your life is a beautiful, glorious mess. Have standards - don't ever let them hear you talk poorly about someone you love. Never say a bad word about their daddy in front of them. Your standards are going to be their guide - give them a good starting point. Don't be afraid to cry in front of them. Your life is a beautiful mess, remember? He uses tears to water the roses, sometimes. Laugh. A lot. When life doesn't go your way, get on your knees, and make sure they see it. Ask them if they want to join you. Celebrate the little things in your life. There is nothing wrong with making pumpkin spice pancakes on the first day of Autumn, just because. Don't be afraid to dress up sometimes and feel beautiful - but don't be afraid to rock a makeup free face with confidence, either. You're their mirror. Never stop searching for Love - never stop seeking Him. Never hold back how much you love Jesus to your children. Ever.
Rock your class. Don't be afraid to have a teensy bit of sass, and if the situation permits, dish a little smartass out too. Why, you ask? Because to be perfectly honest with you, this world is harsh, and between Jesus and a teensy bit of attitude, us ladies just might survive it. Have you stepped outside lately? Don't forget your manners though. Please, thank you, have a nice day, and for heavens sake, smile at the homeless man, and the grumpy checkout clerk at the grocery store. Be loving. Be compassionate. Be understanding. Give grace. Cook dinner for your family. Even if you're always busy - make an effort to prepare meals for your family with a smile on your face. Teach them how to iron their daddy's shirt. And then, when she gets distracted, talking to you and burns it, ask him to put it on and teach her how to change a tire. That's his job, anyway. Make your bed every morning - and ask them to do the same. A messy room looks a thousand times better even when the bed is made. Don't let your laundry pile up to inside out dirty underwear. Wash them and teach her to put them away. Clean the bathrooms in your house regularly. Show her how to help you, even if it's just emptying the trash. Be a good wife - not a perfect one. Love your husband - her daddy. Serve him even when he pisses you off with that humming thing he does while he sits on the couch after work and plays fantasy football. And start now. Not when you're 26, or 32. Now.
Where did this come from?
Easy. My heart. And my mama.
My mama did her very best to exude all of those qualities above...and I cannot tell you how thankful I am, each and every day, for the blessing of her diligence.
I will repeat an earlier statement - this world is harsh. And between Jesus and little bit of attitude, I just might survive it.
The reason though, I wanted to be so straightforward with you mamas, though, is because every single day, I meet a new young lady who is overcome with the pressures of this world. More often than not, she can't cook, she isn't confident in who she is, her face is caked with makeup, and she's sold herself to lust, not love.
I am not perfect, but I have been equipped with a lot of tools many girls never see, because their mamas are too busy thinking about #1 and they forget about the little eyes watching them.
I am confident in who I am and I'm not afraid to speak my mind. Just go through some of my past blog posts.
I'm a princess...because, Jesus and duh. (That's teenager speak for I'm a daughter of the King and look like Ariel.)
I can run a household better than most first time moms - because my mom made sure I knew that was an important part of being a woman.
I like to smile. At the guy on the corner and the lady in the store. I smile at the little girl next to me at the stoplight. I smile. Because that says a lot about someone these days. Try it.
I don't always make my bed though..and sometimes I wait a little too long to clean my bathroom or start my laundry. I blame it on the fact that I'm a nanny though, and I do that for other people all day long.
My point is, I feel so prepared for life and adulthood...wifehood and motherhood..simply because my mother instilled these things within my little heart. I remember the day she taught me to fold socks. It was after my baby sister was born - I was 6, and my poor mother was so overrun with everything. A brand new baby, a healing C-section incision, and the beginning of my dad's business...she sat down on the couch, called me over, and patiently taught me how to lay the socks together, stick my fingers inside, and flip one out over the other. It took me entirely too long to master the task...but it's stuck with me 12 years after, her patience and understanding, in teaching me a simple task that everyone should know.
So, mamas, teach them to dance in the rain. Teach them to dance in the sun. Lose the leggings and shirt that doesn't quite cover your bum...because the day they come out wearing that, the day after they get curves and legs, you're going to have a cow at how every detail of their sweet little body is revealed, and you're going to want to tell them to change...but that disney-channel-sass we talked about is going to come out and point out your outfit at that very moment. Don't let that happen. Teach them classy and cute modesty. I'm not talking Duggar extreme. But come on, buy them bermuda shorts while they still don't care.
Your little girls are the wives, mothers, aunts and best friends of tomorrow. Who you raise them to be today determines what our society looks like tomorrow. Give them the tools to succeed.
Teach them to be tougher than nails. Teach them how to be a best friend by being theirs. Teach them manners. Teach them to keep their standards high. Teach them how to use a hammer. Encourage them to play in the mud every now and then. Teach them the beauty of a pair of worn out converse. Teach them how to dress up. Teach them how to properly apply eyeliner, please. Teach them how to kill a spider. Teach them how to patch a pair of jeans. Teach them how to smile. Teach them how to live.
Teach them, mamas, and teach them well.
(my mama and I)
