why couldn't I be turning five?

I just said that to my mother while she was looking at birthday party ideas for my baby sister.

I am turning 16 in exactly one month from today, and dude..if I were to have a party, which I'm not, cause I'm the only one to think my idea is stellar, but if I were to have a party, it would be in a malt shop. we would all wear 50's dresses (not the guys. they would dress guy-ly), and we would giggle and drink milkshakes and Coca-Cola and sing oldies. There would also be a jukebox present. That's how it would happen. But like I previously mentioned, no one would think that was actually fun and no one would take it seriously, nor would they dress in legit outfits. So alas, I'm left to sitting here, looking at all these cute birthday ideas, wishing I was either five and could get away with a woodland party filled with owls and hedgehogs and cute little squirels, or that I had cooler friends who would get into the vintage malt shop thing with me...