dear girls: on confidence vs. vanity.

We all have that one trait that people commonly pick out in us. 

Some of us are shy, some of us are quiet. some of us are bubbly, smiley, happy, etc, etc. 

I've always been told my confidence is evident; that I carry myself in a way that says "I'm not afraid of the world and what it has to say."

You're probably asking why the heck I'm sitting here typing this for you to read if you choose to....but this post if for you girls. 

You see, I'm discovering as a young woman in 2012, that true confidence is often mistaken for other things.

I think a lot of people take my confidence as me being cocky, full of myself, and big headed. 

Some people take shyness as being rude and dumb. 

Some people take loudness as attention seeking.

A while ago I had an encounter with someone who didn't like my confidence and told me I made others feel bad with my ability to believe I can do anything I want to.

I've been pondering this for some time now, wondering what I could say to someone if that ever was said to me again, and it's bound to happen. 

I believe every woman should equip themselves with true confidence - not confidence in their ability to manipulate or persuade, but the kind of confidence that doesn't care what others have to say, isn't easily influenced by what is "cool" and "trendy", and doesn't measure their worth by what others think. Do you agree?

I'd like to think that's the kind of confidence I have. Of course, I'm not perfect, and never will be. But what fun is life if you're constantly comfortable with who you are? I think we should always be striving to become a better version of ourselves, growing in the Lord and His desires.

I don't remember exactly what I said to the person who told me my confidence was essentially offensive, but I do remember I didn't apologize for it. I wondered for a while if that was the right thing to do, and finally I am confident in my decision not to apologize. God's created every single one of us differently. We are all similar in one way or a thousand, but none of us are exactly alike. I won't ever apologize for who God made me to be.

This isn't to say that it's an excuse for bad behavior. If I were acting out and being intentionally rude, hurtful, and trying to tear others down, I would feel obligated to apologize.

So, this post is for all of you ladies. 

Be confident in who you are and your ability to succeed with Christ. Don't ever apologize for who He made you to be. You are precious in His sight and lovely. He made you who You are. Shy, happy, quiet, bubbly, confident. You are not subject to the world and it's commands on women today. 

Don't be afraid to dress yourself with confidence. Modesty is not "lame" - it shows your respect yourself and are confident in your ability to be beautiful without flaunting.

Don't be afraid to speak your mind. You may not always be politically correct or say things that are "socially acceptable", but you don't have to be. We learn from our mistakes. 

Don't be afraid to make those mistakes, either! That doesn't mean go out and do stupid things, but when you fall, pick yourself up, apologize if necessary, and keep going. You're not perfect, and that's okay.

And lastly, don't be afraid to be confident in your beauty, worth, and loveliness. I'm not saying you should  be vain. There is quite a difference. Vanity is having excessive pride in or admiration of one's own appearance or achievements. Confidence is the state of feeling certain about the truth of something. 

So, have confidence in knowing you are beautiful because He made you that way. Know that you are lovely, and more precious than rubies, and never apologize for being who He created you to be.