bigger.

Oh, my sweet King. You are truly incredible. 

Yesterday, while at the thrift store, I bought the book I kissed dating goodbye by Joshua Harris. I read that book about a year and a half ago, per my mother's request - and was in love with it and the ideas set out in it. It's pure genius and should be read by every Christian woman - young and old. 

The book is not all about dating - but more about how our relationships should be glorifying God in all their ways, and how that should look. Whether it's a romantic relationship or a simple friendship. 

So anyway - I saw the book, sitting on the shelf, priced $1.50 - brand.new. And the tag was yellow, making it 50% off - so all in all it was $.75....and as I picked it up I knew God wanted me to read it with one of the girls at youth group who is younger than me. So in my mind, I made a mental list...of all the girls I thought it would be appropriate to read it with. It consisted all of the 8th graders who are graduating into high school this year, as well as a few freshman girls whom I worked with last year...the list was about 5 girls long...and so I began praying about which one of them needed the fellowship, support, and study time with someone older but not too much older than them. Namely, myself.

Step back a week. Last week at youth group, we finished the book of Acts, and this week, we had our last "life groups" session for that book - a time where the girls and guys split, and are directed by the leaders in a discussion about the last three weeks...so we have a night like this every 4th week. It's quite wonderful.

We ended up heading in a direction of sharing what God's been weeding out of our lives - pride, lust, gluttony, etc, etc. And one of my girls from last year, who's a freshman this year, (I refer to all of the girls who I've been a leader to while they've been in jr. high as my girls...) - who was also on my list - opened her heart up in front of all 20+ of us - and as she was talking, I got a little tug on my heart saying "you get to minister to her."

Well. funny story - this girl never liked me really - I always bugged her last year because I was so very open about my opinions on dating in high school just to date, gossip, lying, etc. I never tell my girls something just because it's what they want to hear....but even though she hated what I had to say, she kept coming back. 

My heart skipped a beat. "Oh no, God, not A...this is not going to go over well...please don't do this to me."

I could hear God laughing in my head....imagining Him saying "do what to you, missy? I'm blessing you with this opportunity, now take it and be a light."

*gulp* "Okay, whatever you say....", I thought back to myself....

We prayed for A, as a group, and then I went over (not before taking a big breath and putting on my big girl panties) and sat down with her - told her about the book, how I felt God telling me to go through it with her...and you know what she said, through tears?

"I would love to read it with you. Thank you." And she hugged me. Hugged me.

Oh, my word. That did not just happen.

God is so cool.

So, I'm going to be re-reading the book over the next month or so - so you can probably expect some posts about what I'm learning or talking about with A. This is just the first of many, I'm sure.

Thank you Lord, for being bigger than our hardened hearts.